You’d think Coborn’s home brand (based on their own family history) would put more effort into uhhhh pictures of the food they are selling. Is Coborn’s a Minnesota brand? Google says yes, a St. Cloud company. How unfortunate. I guess that’s why all their pizzas have these dumb midwestern expressions instead of names. I don’t want to eat the “you betcha” I want to eat the “pepperoni and sausage.” This is actually a huge annoyance I have when I’m trying new restaurants or cuisines for the first time. I want to know everything that’s in it, not just for the sake of allergies, but because I want to know if you are about to serve me orange juice and toothpaste. I don’t want to sit down in a restaurant and order the “poppin’ fresh sticks” without knowing just what the fuck that is. Now that my sauce pressure is up (get it? because I don’t have blood anymore) I can rip this asshole to shreds. This pizza wasn’t inherently bad, but it was the most bland, flavorless, forgettable pizza I’ve eaten in a while. I literally forgot I was eating it and didn’t even finish it.
Pros:
It looks good, so you can gaslight someone into thinking they’re eating a better pizza.
Cons:
Toppings were bland. (-1 point)
Cheese was low quality, and there wasn’t enough of it. (-2 points)
I don’t even remember the sauce. (-1 point)
Crust was too thick. (-1 point)
